March 6, 2020 - City Lockdown and a Little bit about my family

Everything suddenly feels so scary. Just a few days ago they closed schools here for the virus outbreak and I thought it was hilarious since the virus couldn't go on so far and reach here in Italy, but boy was I wrong. Today my aunt said she saw literally groups of people getting forced to get out of their house because they were infected. It's heartbreaking. I didn't know much about it and just brushed it off but as I'm seeing people getting infected more and more (and especially in my city!) it's.. scary. Scary as hell. Anyway, except that, everything's fine. Enjoying the rest home and tomorrow I'm going to a party.. things are ok basically. My grades are fine. No problems fortunately. Typing this from another MacBook, it's a MacBook Pro, yay! Yes, I have an obsession about computers. Literally. I can't stop getting my hands off of them. Been impulsive shopping on ebay. My cats are fine too. Dog not so much, she's got cystitis. We are currently giving her lots of medicines. Poor doggie :( And about family... it just goes on. Dad's still addicted on gambling. Mom's eyes look dead.. she's just pushing thru for us. Now, what you need to know: when my mother was pregnant with me, my dad cheated on her. Yes, while she was pregnant. DISGUSTING. He wasn't here when she gave birth to me. He had an affair going on and he thought the girl he was having an affair with would stick with him. My dad even got the divorce papers, but I guess the girl chickened out at the end. My mom stayed with him just for us. Makes sense though, anybody wouldn't want their kids to grow up with just a mother/father. That wasn't good though. All my childhood they were screaming and having fights. I'd have to worry to split them before something worse could happen; I grew up fast. I learned that at a young age the sad truth: this can't go on and I can't worry for them forever. Over the years, my worry for them fighting became nonexistent. His screams... were so so far away. I couldn't hear him anymore. At dinner, screaming.. my mind just didn't hear him. I guess somehow I don't want to give him another chance in the future. I just can't believe he cheated while my mom was pregnant. She went through so much and I love her to death. I want a man to care about her and love her... and in fact, she has! I know it's crazy I'm saying this in a happy tone but it's because it actually is. She has an affair.. but a serious one. It has been going on for years. They're both kinda in the same situation I guess but I'm so happy for her. A few months ago I'd read her messages with my sister (I know I shouldn't have... but yes) and I saw all these cute messages.. I want mama to be happy. If one day I could become a millionare it's only for her. My mom's life wasn't an easy one. If I'll be rich then, I'd get her out of the house and live her best life ever. Momma I love you so much. I know you're still struggling to this day, but I'm going to be with you. Forever. - overthinker, xo