I haven't updated in a while. So, what happened?
I got good grades. I did it. That was the most important thing - and I'm happy I got through it. Sometimes I scroll down all the pages and see some actual improvement. I remember all the fear just by reading some nonsense things I'd write on here. Fear of failing. Fear of... everything. I think that this has shown me that we all can go through quests; or, for a better term, problems. For the first time in years I've realized (or accepted) that I'm depressed . I always knew it but I just wanted to hear it once. I never wanted to accept that. It's not the depression that makes me feel shitty all the time; it's the depression that stops you from doing regular stuff, like I said in the previous pages, studying. My mindset was already set on failing school n shit. That's how my depression is - but when you do actually go through your problems, you feel rewarded. You feel like you've done it. Beaten it. Like: "Ha, okay, you can't stop me. Fuck you depression" (this sounds cringy but that's how it is)
I'm actually happier than ever. Managed to order an iMac (I always, ALWAYS wanted one) thanks to something - uh oh, no, I can't say that. - I'm just gonna say: thanks to work. It's coming on tuesday, and I can't wait to flex my iSight camera :'). School is almost done and light is coming. I feel so much less stressed knowing that I'm doing great. I don't know how many other things I bought after the iMac, so if I'm gonna read this in the future I'll say the other stuff I bought.
So yeah, that's it. For now, I'm just gonna sit in bed, relax and.. yeah, it's a cold ass winter. And I'm happy. Merry Christmas ♥